We've all heard it or muttered it, "oh, she's one of those moms." I've even done it myself. Lately, I've been making the comment internally about myself. Here's the list of everything Eric and I do. You be the judge. Am I on of those parents?
1. I breast fed. For as long as I possibly could. My curious, active little daughter pretty much self weaned herself and even baffled the pediatrician by her lack of focus. This broke my heart. I wanted to breast feed longer, so I pumped and pumped some more until I couldn't emotionally handle it any more.
2. Co-Sleeping. Trust me, with every ounce inside of me, I long for the nights when Kendall goes down in her crib and wakes up in her crib. Nothing makes me happier. I love my bed. However, at 3am when she's screaming, I am in no state of mind to sooth and rock her back to sleep. So, I do what many of those desperate mothers do, and I go into our guest room and crash there with her. I don't take her into our bd because Eric takes up too much room.
3. Rear-facing car seat. The law says that children must be rear facing until they are a year old and over 20 pounds. Well, Kendall is a year old and over 20 pounds and facing backwards. Why? Well the suggestion is to keep them rear facing until they are 2. Just a suggestion, not law. So we are following the suggestion. Besides, she doesn't know any better and doesn't share the back seat with anyone forward facing so I don't feel all that bad.
4. Cloth Diapers. I love it. I started reluctantly but it was the best choice we could have made. Poopy diaper are no more disgusting in cloth than disposable. Yes, there is extra laundry involved and Kendall has a "diaper butt," but I love it. Besides the diapers today are light years better than what our parents' options were.
5. No TV. Studies show that children should not watch TV until they are at least 2. Even then, there are only certain programs for them. TV programs designed for toddlers, amazing. The over stimulation is not good for their little developing minds at such a young age so people suggest you refrain. This actually isn't bad at all. Since we don't have cable anyway, our TV has moved down into the basement and is hardly ever on. Our living room/family rom or whatever you want to call it, is exactly that. We are a family in there and we live in there. We don't live for Mickey Mouse clubhouse to come on and entertain Kendall or live for whatever else crap comes on TV. We play games with her, engage. and have dance parties. Don't get me wrong, I still love me some TV time. And the minute Kendall has gone to bed, Eric and I are downstairs in the basement checking out Netflix.
So there you have it. I have become one of those breastfeeding, co-sleeping, rear facing, cloth diapering, no TV watching mothers. Is it that bad? I don't think so!
Love it! We still have Jacob rear facing and will continue until he's 2.
ReplyDeleteto be honest, I'm not sure what I should say! far be it from me to commentate on your parenting lest I be one of THOSE parents hehe. but, I guess you did ask so here goes:
ReplyDelete1) I am confused by how this makes you "that parent". Breastfeeding is mainstream, and the WHO continues to recommend it up to 2 years old. Tirzah also self-weaned at about ten months. Erica made the difficult decision to switch to formula at about 5 months with Mircea. Again, I'm not sure what to say about this section except that I understand the emotional weight of going through the weaning process (inasmuch, of course, as I am able being a man!)
2) We have co-slept with both of our girls. Yes, many important groups of experts are concerned about it. The main issue is SIDS; child psychologists and developmental scientists aren't as alarmed. Our experience has been that it is sort of a trade-off. Obviously if a child always sleeps in her crib she'll not have any desire for any other arrangement, but that doesn't mean she won't have difficulty falling asleep! So for us, we understood that by co-sleeping we would probably have to struggle a little more later on and that had indeed been the case with Tirzah. Oh well. We knew it and we're dealing with it. It was our choice.
3) Again, I hate to sound like a moron but I don't get why this would fall under the category of being "one of those parents". We turned Tirzah around before she was two because she asked for it, but we were mindful of the new suggestion.
4) We did cloth diapers with most of Tirzah's diapering years. With the arrival of Bum Genius, etc. it seems that cloth diapering is also more mainstream. We are not currently doing it with Mircea but if I have anything to say about it we are going to start again.
5) This is the one on which we differ a little. Our TV is also not in our living room but we do not have a downstairs. The TV is wall-mounted in the "playroom". Tirzah has been watching TV for several months now. We limit which shows, obviously, and she spends lots of time doing the same things that you guys do with baby Kendall. But we do let her watch more than what you are comfortable with it seems. Interestingly, I don't like the shows that are intended to be "educational". I like shows that are slow-paced, gentle, and fun. In fact, the only two shows I let TJ watch are Caillou and Sesame Street. I contend that the research is inconclusive for light to moderate television watching in toddlers. I've read studies that suggest less of a concern. Regardless, TV is almost always either a last resort or used during rest times.
I am curious about what promted this post, and happy that I was invited to read it. My opinion is that the views you expressed are more emblematic of a possible generational shift, or socioeconomic differences. If, based on what you've described, you are "one of those" parents, then we and almost all of our friends are too!
Thanks again for sharing. Wish we could spend time together.
The Twitchells
Thank you for your insights! Maybe I've been in the Midwest too long. I recognize that a lot of people do BF, yet a lot of people dont, and not because they can't but because of a lack of knowledge in the benefits. For co-sleeping, I never thought I'd have to do it, but holy cow it's hard to get them to sleep! On the diapers, I feel like I'm the only one in town who does it. I know a few families who do, but when some people discover we cloth, we get weird looks! I've started saying that I want my children to frolic through the forest, not a landfill... Then I get more looks.
ReplyDeleteI guess what inspired the post was the looks I get from people an always feeling like I have to explain myself or justify my actions!